I was eyeballing the latest trends from Prada's Spring/Summer 2012 line when a nagging voice inside my head just wouldn't leave me alone. Don't get me wrong, I am every bit as fond of Prada as the next gal. The colors, the lines, the movement. It is a brand that is synonymous with high fashion and luxary and given my personality, I have an especially sponge like ability to adsorb images and reflect on them before sharing my impressions. Yet I found myself so deeply disturbed by these images that by the time I had finished the fashion walk video, I was really troubled.
I couldn't put my finger on it. It wasn't the eerie music or the avant garde setting of the shot, it wasn't the bizarre clothing combinations or even the insanely skinny models. Then it hit me. It wasn't about the models at all. I think this bears repeating. It was no longer about women's bodies at all. It wasn't about fat versus skinny, or muscular versus curvy. Somewhere along the road, woman have had their ability to look womanly taken away from them. If you don't know what I am talking about, just compare fashion from 50 years ago to fashion from today. See what I mean? And it's a problem that is everywhere. I myself have fallen victim to it on Pinterest, in magazine clippings and bookmarked pages.
This is such a sickening problem that is most obvious in high fashion with a trickle down effect on the rest of clothing lines in general that is impacting almost every women on the planet. It's what little girls and big girls are constantly battling with and something I struggled with as a stick thin, super tall kid all of my young adult life. I always thought the message was to be skinny but I think even deeper than that message is a subliminal one of not being womanly. And this is a battle every single woman is doomed to fail at since it goes against our nature. We are stuck striving for a quasi gender neutral image which is effectively nothing more than clothing. The clothing comes first and women and their bodies are second. I don't have to get all philosophical to believe that women are by nature different than men. Estrogen fills out our bodies, softens our skin and allows us the ability to have children as surely as our lungs fill up with oxygen and our hearts beat blood around our bodies. We all have different paths, but this is part and parcel with who we are, our identity.
Do I think that we should give up, get back in the kitchen and stop exercising? How many ways can and how strongly can I say absolutely not? Strive for a high level of fitness, put excellent food in your body and wear amazing, beautiful things. Exude beauty. Be smart. Be super successful. Be happy. But just as importantly, take a moment to thank your body. It's what makes you look different from the girl next to you, has allowed someone to fall in love with you, brings you through your life and has the ability to create new life. I see women rising up and taking hold of their image with such hugely popular shows as Mad Men and Downton Abbey. Confidence is what makes us sexy, the rest is just a lovely add-on. Be ok with a snugger fitting bra, with a little something something in your rear. It's ok, it's good, it's actually healthy. And remember all the little girls around us. Be truly confident for them and teach them that being a woman is a wonderful thing. xoxo Agnes
6 comments:
My only qualm is that some women are built like that - stick thin with no "curves" and are healthy. I am not myself, and would never be a model at 5'2, but I always feel the need to put that disclaimer in :) I cringe when I see images like this: http://images.elephantjournal.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/301632_2403747369269_1118662801_2833812_1441128674_n.jpg
that are just putting down another group of women (not that I think you are, and its very prettily written, but still nuanced that way). Ya know?
Not out of your depth at all, Agnes. Well-thought about. Well said. My husband has told me for the 10 years we've been together that no one has ever reminded him more of Marilyn Monroe and the classic pinup girl. That did wonders for my body image as it has fluctuated through the years. Eating well and being active are beautiful things, even more so than the latest Prada dress. ; ) xoxo
I do absolutely agree with you Stephanie. I certainly acknowledge that putting down another group of women is just as hurtful and counterproductive. I think I meant more that it is best to love your body and allow fashion to follow you, not the other way around. Just don't try to look a certain way. Be healthy and fit first, and style and beauty inevitably follow.
Beautifully written Agnes, I wish I could remember things like this more when I feel TOO plump. I am working hard to eat healthy, stay healthy and fit, if the something, something in the rear is stuck there, I should just embrace it. People love me for me, and that won't change if I am a little squishy.
<3
SHaron
oh.my. such a seriously great post! I have become way more aware of this having a daughter of my own and have band diet talk or the word fat to used in front of her my other family members :)
What a wonderfully important and well-written post! And I couldn't agree more that using words like "fat, skinny, curvy, overweight, underweight" to gauge one's size could all be replaced with descriptions such as "healthy, happy, confident, comfortable" and I'd be cool with that. I love that this post goes deeper than fashion, because I honestly don't care much about fashion or brands. I care about what makes me feel good about myself, and I have noticed that the focus has shifted from that over the years.
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